don79548 for the love of God

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don79548: hi

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Artemis: who are you

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Artemis: WHO ARE YOU?

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Artemis: I dont know you and your profile is blank

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Artemis: so NO

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Artemis: IDIOT NO

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Artemis: begging so sad

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Artemis: I dont want to see your tiny penis, did you NOT read my profile?

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bill27513

bill27513: Hi there. M 34 Cary NC looking for local female for fun. Interested?

bill27513: nice tits

Artemis: can you read?

bill27513: yep

bill27513: and type too

Artemis: then do that, read my profile

bill27513: I did

bill27513: ha ha

Artemis: then what's your problem?

bill27513: horny

bill27513: clouds my vision

Artemis: that does not explain stoopid

bill27513: lol

bill27513: sometimes it does

Artemis: well good luck with that

bill27513: ty

I QUIT MY JERB

I quit my job. Working for Ryder for over 9 years was all I knew. I am not worried, I am not scared. That is because I now know how the "other half" live. Someone asked me, about quiting my job, "did you hit the lottery?", I said yeah, pretty much, I did. I have someone who actually supports me and WHATEVER I want to do as well as what ever I think I can do. I think I can build a brick house, I know I really can't but Ken'll say "OK, if you want to build a brick house just tell what I need to do help."

I do have another job lined up and it's not building brick, or straw or twig houses, well not yet the day ain't over!

Brett, I am so sorry I left you in a boat of poop, just know I love you and will support you (not financially) if you decide to quit too.

The unfortunate gayness of hockey

Please don't misunderstand me I LOVE HOCKEY, however, you can not over look the obvious gayness...

Things I heard in last nights game:

He was bent over

reach around

wrap around attempt

big commodore with out his stick

back behinder in front

fresh set of legs out there

Around behind the reach of...

under no circumstance is it OK to break your stick during action

he was an inch wide and didn't go in

Ward humps it along with a big stick

Oilers have really taken a body on Erick

Oilers have to play it deeper

they are delving back end, Rusty has to play (women never want to hear that)

He is taken on by Whitney

Double teamed (?) (may not be such a bad thing)

Penaile-ty coming

Vasicek sounds sexual or vulgar...

3 on 2

He's a rocket!

And of course what all guys want to hear from their friends at the end of the night "HE SCORES"

2 Things

1- The DaVinci Code is just a movie, for entertainment purposes only, how can I know this you ask? Simple Jesus Christ would not have been French.

2 - You can’t jump start a VW Jetta with your riding lawnmower

Old Naked Guy

If you have ever wondered what you grandfather looked like nude then check out this old guy. I am still having nightmares.


raleigh53m4f: hi...on now?
Artemis: ?
raleigh53m4f: saw your profile in a search...nice pics
Artemis: ty
raleigh53m4f: am 53/m/raleigh
raleigh53m4f: ncsu/fairgrounds area
Artemis: all my info is in my profile
raleigh53m4f: i saw
Artemis: ok
raleigh53m4f: any potential interest in real meetings?
Artemis: um, what part of In a Long Term Relationship did you not get?
raleigh53m4f: people sometimes have a desire to wonder
raleigh53m4f: apparantly you don't
raleigh53m4f: so am sorry to bother you
Artemis: no I don’t, I thought I made it clear in the profile
Artemis: and you are married
Artemis: and naked, ew
raleigh53m4f: there are plenty of married on profiles who are looking
Artemis: thanks pal

Long time no blog

I wish I had a great excuse for not posting much of late, like “Gee, I’ve been real busy planning my wedding, but that would be a lie. We have hired someone to do EVERYTHING for us. No one has been sick. We did take a short trip that included casinos, booze, one wedding and roller coasters that went 120 mph.

Here is all I have to offer up for today:


valooking2000: Will be in Durham tonight. If you are interested in a diversion please PM me.
Artemis: did you read my profile?
valooking2000: yes
Artemis: and what did it say?
valooking2000: You wrote it
Artemis: and you read it
valooking2000: correct
Artemis: then why did you bother?
valooking2000: Lots of people don't necessarily feel today the way they did whenever they wrote their profile. Why did you bother to answer?
Artemis: Because it amazes me when people read that and still try….it makes no good sense.
valooking2000: It amazes me when people waste their time
Artemis: Exactly what I meant
Artemis: you wasted yours here
valooking2000: I clicked twice, maybe 3 seconds, you started the dialogue
Artemis: I get fools all day that try, and it's always entertaining to see how far a guy will go to try to convince me that I really want them.
Artemis: So this is for entertainment purposes only… as far as I am concerned.
valooking2000: I asked a simple question ms. I insulted no one and have not tried for one second to convince you of anything.
Artemis: You insulted my “intended” by asking, do you know him? Humm?
valooking2000: No, i complimented his excellent taste.
Artemis: I clearly stated that I am in a Long Term Relationship, yet you have no concern for that, just your own agenda
Artemis: by asking me if I wanted to meet you?
valooking2000: If you are so literal then you would realise that my original question asked you to PM back only if you were interested
Artemis: why would think I was interested?
valooking2000: You responded
Artemis: You realize you are begging strangers, right?
valooking2000: Incorrect

Never give up never surrender

The first attempt was on 3/1/06:


thefriend28218: have bf?
Artemis had you read my profile you would know not to ask
thefriend28218 how sweet
thefriend28218: waht do you need to know sweetie
Artemis: read MY profile.... there is nothing left to question
thefriend28218: u r cute
thefriend28218: we can talk about that
thefriend28218: how sweet u r
thefriend28218: how nice looking u r
thefriend28218:


This is the second attempt 2 months later:


thefriend28218: hi there
Artemis: hi
thefriend28218: how r u
Artemis: ok so far
thefriend28218: coo;
thefriend28218: what u doing today
Artemis: what I do everyday, work...
thefriend28218: understand that
thefriend28218: where r u?
thefriend28218: i have the day off
thefriend28218: had to work the weekend
thefriend28218: u have a cam? so i can see you
Artemis: no
Artemis: I have pictures and that’s plenty
thefriend28218: nice pic
thefriend28218: thanks
thefriend28218: u have a bf?
Artemis: read my profile?
thefriend28218: i c u do
thefriend28218: happy>?
Artemis: what do you mean?
thefriend28218: r u and the bf happy?
Artemis: would I put that there if I weren't
Artemis: does it say I am looking? or are you hoping I’ll skank on him with you, a total stranger?
thefriend28218: jsut wajt to talk and be friends for now
thefriend28218: skanking comes later lol
Artemis: Why would I cheat? What makes you so fabulous? What about you is worth the risk?
thefriend28218: I am a great guy (nuff said!)
thefriend28218: 6'3"
thefriend28218: 200lbs
thefriend28218: green eyes and br hair
thefriend28218: nice build
Artemis: job and income, I aint cheap buddy
thefriend28218: anda good talker tooo
thefriend28218: like to have fun
thefriend28218: and make you smile
Artemis: who does not like to have fun?
thefriend28218: i havea good job
thefriend28218: work at IBM
Artemis: doing what
Artemis: your profile is blank
thefriend28218: training
thefriend28218: and trouble shooting
Artemis: so you are a tech
thefriend28218: more of a trainer they the teck side
thefriend28218: techs r more computer builders
thefriend28218: i am the training side
thefriend28218: the teck r cool through
thefriend28218: what do u do sweetie (this makes my skin crawl)
thefriend28218: tech?
Artemis: my hunny bunny buys me 1 piece of jewelry a month, this month it’s a 1 carat diamond butterfly ring, last month it was a necklace and earrings about 250 carats total of aurora borealis, month before that a 3 carat canary diamond ring, before that a diamond bracelet, before that a necklace from Tiffany’s before that another diamond bracelet… You can top that?
thefriend28218: sound like a nice man or you r very good
Artemis: And don’t call me sweetie…I don’t know you, its belittling, like calling me the little woman…
thefriend28218: i think it is u r very good
thefriend28218: i do make good money $$$ (still trying to sell it)
thefriend28218: and do treat my girl great
thefriend28218: to good people say
Artemis: oh you have a girl?
thefriend28218: no
thefriend28218: when i have a girl
Artemis: then why don't you have 1 now?
thefriend28218: she when to the west coast a few mo. Ago (so he is not good enough to keep her here?)
thefriend28218: looking
thefriend28218: why i am on here looking
thefriend28218: work alot and do not like the bar thing
Artemis: match.com
thefriend28218: u on there
Artemis: it's people who ARE looking
Artemis: I am NOT looking
thefriend28218: sure
thefriend28218: if the right man
Artemis: sure what?
thefriend28218: with the right look
thefriend28218: and the right job
thefriend28218: ask you
thefriend28218: then why r u not married????
thefriend28218: ?
Artemis: oh I can answer that, because my dress wont be here till the end of this month, it's being hand made in Paris, his parents are living in Japan and wont here till the Christmas holidays, so we have booked the Hudson manor for a December wedding, unfortunately we had to wait till then, the flight from Japan in about 18 hours and we did not want to make them do it twice in one year. Does that answer your question?
thefriend28218: yes
thefriend28218: sound like u r happy
thefriend28218: and sweet
Artemis: and loyal
thefriend28218: good
Artemis: besides you already hit me once and it did not go well then
Artemis: about a month ago
thefriend28218: yes
thefriend28218: i did
thefriend28218: still trying
thefriend28218: is that ok?
Artemis: no not really, it gets old and it makes you look pathetic for begging, again
thefriend28218: u do not belive
Artemis: what?
thefriend28218: not pathetic
thefriend28218: just being honest
Artemis: how many times does a gal have to say no then? For you to believe it's no?
thefriend28218: i was jsut checking bacl in
thefriend28218: back in
thefriend28218: to see if it was still coooooooool
Artemis: That was a lame attempt to cover
thefriend28218: cover
thefriend28218: cover what?
Artemis: to cover begging and pathetic
thefriend28218: ok
Artemis: Think about it, would you really want a lying cheater?
thefriend28218: who you?
thefriend28218: or me?
Artemis: any one, duh
Artemis: and I said would YOU
thefriend28218: jsut want to talk and be friend to start but i see you r taken so it is cool
thefriend28218: i wish you happies

Full of charm

You just know this guy can't figure out why he is not getting any boinkin'.

qqqdom: check me out
Artemis: ?
Artemis: what do you mean?
qqqdom: my profile
Artemis: no, did you read mine first?
qqqdom: yea
qqqdom: u r sexy
Artemis: and in a ltr (Long Term Relationship)
qqqdom: so am i
Artemis: oh ok
qqqdom: so we r still free
Artemis: free for what?
qqqdom: dating
Artemis: do you know what a long term relationship is?
qqqdom: yea he fucks u without marrying u
qqqdom: wake up
Artemis: um, then why did he drop a bunch on a 3 carat diamond ring last month and booked the Hudson Manor for a wedding?
qqqdom: when he marrys u then he means business
qqqdom: until then u r a hoe
Artemis: better than being fat and stupid
Artemis: have a nice day
qqqdom: ok fat slut

A one-liner

gulfview95: How can you say you don't want to see my penis?


There was no reply from me...

If you don’t pay my bills, I really don’t care

Cary Wilkes: people lie
Artemis: ?
Cary Wilkes: absolutely not happening
Artemis: ok
Cary Wilkes: the whole time I was married all I heard about was people hooking up on the internet
Artemis: and you cant seem to score?
Cary Wilkes: nope, nade, nope
Artemis: fill out your profile, that might help a lot
Cary Wilkes: nada
Artemis: not many will give folks the time of day with a blank profile
Cary Wilkes: ya there?
Artemis:?
Cary Wilkes: yep, no luck at all
Artemis: oh well other than putting a picture and filling in the blanks, this appears how it will continue to be for you... so if you don’t like the way things are then you have one of two choices. Change, or shut up
Artemis: it’s all on you
Artemis: no one else’s fault
Cary Wilkes: that's a lot of work for a piece of ass
Cary Wilkes: gotta scan the photo, think of something nifty to say
Artemis: then stfu and deal with none
Artemis: or do the damn work
Artemis: I really don’t care
Cary Wilkes: why are you trying to act like you don't care?
Artemis: Cary Wilkes: why are you trying to act like you don't care? <-----DUH because I don’t care, like you said
Artemis: Name 1 reason why I should give a rat’s ass about your sex life?
Cary Wilkes: b/c you're jealous
Artemis: jealous that you can’t seem to get any?
Artemis: o
Artemis: k
Artemis: you got me
Cary Wilkes: no, that I am hard to get
Artemis: You’re throwing it out that there and that means you are hard to get?
Artemis: Are you tarded?
Artemis: do you wear a helmet
Cary Wilkes: no self respecting human being would pass me down, hence the problem is that there are very few self respecting human beings
Cary Wilkes: I am not the problem
Cary Wilkes: pass me up, I mean
Cary Wilkes: no one
Artemis: well good luck with that, have a nice day and all that crap
Cary Wilkes: ha ha! I just wanted to see how fired up I could get you, not a single bit of this is true..... man, you've got short fuses all over
Artemis: My fuse is not short, I just have no time for idiots, especially idiots I don’t know or care about, and I put up with very little crap. I am a crap free person and tend to stay that way. I cut to the meat of the conversation and get it done and over with. No short fuse, just real and true to myself.
Deal with or don’t, I still don’t care and never will.
Cary Wilkes: you do care, why are you lying to yourself?

I used to like goats, but now, not so much

t goat: hey
Artemis: hello
t goat: hey sweet heart
t goat: u doin ok?
Artemis: between work and planning my wedding, my think bone hurts
t goat: ohh i see,my bone hurts too
Artemis: ?
t goat: the one guys think with,,
Artemis: oh, nice
t goat: id luv to show u,,how much
Artemis: what?
Artemis: are you talking about
t goat: lol,,,u no,,the bone guys think with
Artemis: I was being sarcastic with the “nice” remark
Artemis: did you read my profile?
t goat: no,,,,they usally dont mean shit
Artemis: wrong again
t goat: ladies luv to get as loose as guys,,i know that
Artemis: I just said I was planning a wedding, which implies that I am engaged…

48, white male... Whooopie

mwm4mwfover35: 48, white male, louisville ky...looking for a "stress buster" this morning (i.e., phone play) with a NON-psycho female. POSSIBLY interested?
Artemis: ?
mwm4mwfover35: hello
Artemis: What kind of add is this?
mwm4mwfover35: it's not an add
mwm4mwfover35: i work from home
mwm4mwfover35: just taking a break
Artemis: then what are you selling
mwm4mwfover35: nothing
mwm4mwfover35: phone play is just a stress buster
mwm4mwfover35: by the way, i like home star runner too
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: what is phone play?
mwm4mwfover35: oh come on, darlin.(My skin is starting to crawl)
Artemis: pardon...
Artemis: you mean phone sex?
mwm4mwfover35: duh
Artemis: at work?
mwm4mwfover35:
mwm4mwfover35: i work from home
Artemis: You can not be serious
Artemis: well I dont
mwm4mwfover35: well....yes
Artemis: That is bizarre
mwm4mwfover35: actually, it's very common these days....
mwm4mwfover35: ...and has been for about 10 years.
mwm4mwfover35: married women are the best....and safest.
Artemis: ?
mwm4mwfover35: <~~knows these things
Artemis: hows that
mwm4mwfover35: i guess they don't want hassles.....
mwm4mwfover35: psycho women take phone sex WAY too seriously
Artemis: oh
Artemis: is that really possible?
mwm4mwfover35: is what possible?
Artemis: take phone sex WAY too seriously
mwm4mwfover35: yes...a few do. they act like a "relationship" has begun.....
Artemis: I can hardy type it with a straight face
mwm4mwfover35: lol
mwm4mwfover35: well, those are the ones i call psycho.
Artemis: Not laughing at it, but just confused by it
mwm4mwfover35: hmmm, you're not using CAPS but you are using caps on the word "I".....how interesting.
mwm4mwfover35: confused
mwm4mwfover35: well
mwm4mwfover35: phone sex is common
mwm4mwfover35: it takes me less than 15 minutes to find a partner.
Artemis: I must be really different then
mwm4mwfover35: i go to the yahoo members directory and copy/paste my intro.....
Artemis: Cause I have never participated in it.
mwm4mwfover35: well, if you do....just chat with them first for a while until you SENSE that they aren't psychos......
Artemis: No, I’ll pass
mwm4mwfover35: lol
mwm4mwfover35: you can go into just about any adult chat room right now and watch men jack off on cam.
mwm4mwfover35: men have a harder time finding women to do that, but it's not uncommon either.
Artemis: Besides I am not single and that would seem an unfaithful act.
mwm4mwfover35: ahhhh
mwm4mwfover35: it's just masturbation
mwm4mwfover35: ...that's all.
Artemis: That’s in my profile
mwm4mwfover35: i know
Artemis: OK, Bill Clinton
mwm4mwfover35: that made you more desireable
mwm4mwfover35: president billy was a sex addict, that's all.
mwm4mwfover35: he at least balanced the budget darlin.
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: And this is not a prime representation of the very same thing?
mwm4mwfover35: that's a huge leap, actually. i'm not addicted.
mwm4mwfover35: i do it maybe once a month....as a break...a diversion.
mwm4mwfover35: if i was an addict, would i be spending time chatting with you now? i mean, you've already said NO.
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: You see, if my Boo masturbated to some chick on the phone or otherwise, I would be infuriated, therefore I would never to such a thing to him. Do unto other’s kind of mentality.
mwm4mwfover35: AHHH
mwm4mwfover35: well, that's your rule for yourself...so i can't argue with that.
mwm4mwfover35: do you give your hubby head?
Artemis: But, good luck with that and all
Artemis: Bu-bye
mwm4mwfover35: i guarantee you your hubby masturbates when you don't know....ok...bye.

OK? OK! OK, OK, OK, OK

lonby009: hello
lonby009: how are u?

BUZZ!!!

Artemis: ?
lonby009: hello
lonby009: how are u?
Artemis: I am glad I had my sound down
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i am richard
lonby009: and u?
Artemis: just lil ol' me
lonby009: were do you stay in us?
Artemis: nc, are you not in the US?
lonby009: i am
lonby009: ok
lonby009: are you single?
Artemis: where are you from then? what country?
lonby009: i am from us
lonby009: wa
lonby009: ok
Artemis: it’s ok with me
lonby009: how old are u?
Artemis: are you new this chat site?
lonby009: yep
lonby009: and u?
Artemis: no, been on for a while
lonby009: wow
lonby009: that is nice
Artemis: you know that profile they ask you to fill out?
lonby009: are you single?
lonby009: don,t worry
lonby009: i will do that ok
Artemis: worry about what?
lonby009: i will like to know you better
lonby009: ok
Artemis: now how is that possible, you are in WA?
lonby009: i can come down to your
lonby009: place that is if will get to know each other
lonby009: better
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you don’t know me
lonby009: that is what i am saying
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i will like to know
lonby009: you better
Artemis: well I filled out my profile
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you might want to read it, instead of just looking at pictures
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you might want to fill yours out some; no one likes an empty man
lonby009: that is what a i am doing
lonby009: now
lonby009: ok
Artemis: why do you say "OK" so much?
Artemis: ok
lonby009: i can see your pics
lonby009: now
lonby009: ok
lonby009: are you single?
Artemis: ok what? Why do you keep saying ok, did you read my profile yet?
Artemis: Are you a "reader"
lonby009: yep
lonby009: i have just done that
lonby009: ok
Artemis: then what does my profile say?
lonby009: you are single
lonby009: and you do like to make friend
lonby009: ok
Artemis: what are you reading? Where did you get that from?
Artemis: and stop with the dang "OK's"
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
lonby009: yep
Artemis: yep what?
lonby009: i will like to know
lonby009: if i can take you ask my best friend>
Artemis:? What did you just say?
lonby009: make you my best lover girl
lonby009: ok

BUZZ!!!

Artemis: no
lonby009: why?
Artemis: Because I have a fiancé and if I were single I would be not desperate enough to travel out side of my area.
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i can afford
lonby009: to come over babe
lonby009: ok
Artemis: babe?
lonby009: yep?
Artemis: who the hell do you think you are calling me babe?
Artemis: Are you sure you were born in the US, you don’t chat like you were born in the US, or are you THAT grammatically challenged?
lonby009: ok
lonby009: bye
lonby009: leave me alone
lonby009: ok
Artemis: bu-bye
lonby009: bye

thickone4u30

thickone4u30: Good afternoon. M/32 NC Web Cam. How are you today?
Artemis: ok I guess
thickone4u30: where in nc? age?
Artemis: Raleigh
thickone4u30: cool wiston salem here
thickone4u30: age?
thickone4u30: what do u do for work?
Artemis: 36 logistics
thickone4u30: cool
thickone4u30: married kids?
Artemis: do you ever read
thickone4u30: new at messenger
thickone4u30: it is fun
thickone4u30: married? kids?
Artemis: ahh, click under *ACTIONS* then go to *CONTACT OPTIONS* then *VIEW PROFILE*
Artemis: it’s all there
Artemis: the good the bad and the ugly
thickone4u30: pretty
thickone4u30: web cam?
Artemis: no
thickone4u30: more pics?
Artemis: there are plenty of pictures; there is a link on the bottom half of my profile
thickone4u30: open minded female?
Artemis: I am
thickone4u30: cool
thickone4u30: offline meeitings?
Artemis: I am open minded about the death penalty and abortion and child rearing
Artemis: did you read my profile?
Artemis: did you?
Artemis: I would never meet some one i did not know
Artemis: that’s retarded
thickone4u30: ok
thickone4u30: web cam?
Artemis: no i dont have a web cam
thickone4u30: where tattoo located?
Artemis: my back
thickone4u30: cute
thickone4u30: thongs or prefer none on?
Artemis: what prompted you to think that was an appropriate question?
thickone4u30: u are open minded
Artemis: I am open minded about the death penalty and abortion and child rearing
thickone4u30: thongs?
Artemis: You asked if I were open minded, you did not say about what in particular…
thickone4u30: about sexual conversations
Artemis: then no, I am in a relationship, like my profiles stated, I get nothing from "chatting" sex talk with strangers
thickone4u30: thongs?
Artemis: How pathetic are you really?
thickone4u30: shaved pussy?
Artemis: are you fat, ugly or both?
thickone4u30: nope
Artemis: I would guess both, I mean why else beg a total stranger for sex?

You have been invited to view thickone4u30's webcam.
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thickone4u30: web cam?

You have been invited to view thickone4u30's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: Wow, let me guess, you lifted your belly fat to show me your itty bitty tiny penis, this is by all means pioneering, I mean no one else has ever offered to let lil ‘ol me take a look see at their penis, yes, indeed you are a pioneer, a true free thinker. Wow golly gee whiz, did I mention wow?

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Artemis: and I said no already

I hate spam

troykapin: said CHRIS TUCKER got shot and killed thats why you opened it, but if it said JESUS...would you have still opened it? SAY THIS SLOWLY: Jesus-----I--REALIZE---I--AM---A----SINNER---I REPENT --FOR---MY----SINS----FORGIVE---ME---I--Love----You-----and----I----Need-----You---------- Repost this within 5minutes and make the title R.I.P. CHRIS TUCKER and a miracle will happen tonite. P.S. TRUST ME Y0U D0N'T WANNA iGN0RE THiS

Artemis: I hate spam and have reported you

You have been invited, again

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: who are you?

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: you have tried this before and I said no, still stupid?

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
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Artemis: you can’t read either can you?


You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
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Artemis: I am not desperate, sorry
dave52752: u got a cam
Artemis: why
dave52752: let me seeu
Artemis: why
dave52752: why not
Artemis: I don’t like idiots looking at me
Artemis: I don’t let idiots look at me
Artemis: that’s why not
Artemis: geez


You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Advertisements. I am not buying this product.

thefriend28218: What im looking for in a woman is honesty/ sweetness/ kindness /loving/ caring/ fun/compassionate/ someone that is supportive/trustworthy loyal/someone that is willing and wanting to spend quality time.
Artemis: had you read my profile you would know not to ask
thefriend28218: how sweet
thefriend28218: waht do you need to know sweetie
Artemis: read MY profile.... there is nothing left to question
thefriend28218: u r cute
thefriend28218: we can talk about that
thefriend28218: how sweet u r
thefriend28218: how nice looking u r

So he is looking for a good honest cheating woman? I don’t get it…

Funny ha ha not funny queer

A short list of funny things I have read lately:


All I wanted to do was puke and poop, all I could do was spit and fart.

Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Allow me to introduce my selves

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?

Humpty Dumpty was pushed

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

For every 1 animal you don’t eat I’ll eat 3

I read a notice “Drink Canada Dry”, I have started.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird! (Star Trek humor is the best!)

"I is a college student."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a Schizophrenic and so am I.

Slack but friendly!

I know I have been slack, but I have had many things on my plate and have unfortunately blown off many Assbag opportunities. I submit the following for you amusement, not Assbaggery but true friendship.

Artemis: I didn't do a homeless guy last night, did I?
Friend: not that I was aware of, why?
Artemis: my face hurts really bad and there is grass all over the kitchen floor...............?
Friend: well, the face is explained because you laid your weight on it on the kitchen counter. The grass I assume we tracked in
Friend: only thing I put on the floor was a piece of ice that Foster played with
Friend: the goat may have brought in the grass come to think of it
Artemis: lol
Artemis : my face hurts REAL bad
Artemis: I left work at 1pm today to come home and sleep this mess off
Friend: yeah, well, next time listen to me when I try to get you to bed or at least a couch:-)
Artemis: I don't remember leaving Bob's
Friend: you were like "I need to go now'.... yelled at me when I said we were going to my place rather than garner
Friend: you calmed down when I said I would get the stuff I needed to go to garner
Artemis: oh god....
Friend: apparently you puked in your hair and in your passenger window while I was upstairs, leading me to get cleaning stuff and saying "poor Artemis"
Artemis: I apologize.
Artemis: LOL
Friend: No need to apologize. You were the one with puke in your hair :-)
Artemis: and my shirt
Friend: and in your door via window gap
Artemis: found that at work this morning
Artemis: yeah the window had nice streak on it
Friend: and the inside didn't seem to clean too easily, going to take some elbow grease :-)
Friend: and the goat, who knows where that poor fellow is now
Artemis: yeah right, who knows
Artemis:?