A short list of funny things I have read lately:
All I wanted to do was puke and poop, all I could do was spit and fart.
Where there's a will...I want to be on it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Allow me to introduce my selves
How do I set the laser printer to stun?
I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?
Humpty Dumpty was pushed
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
For every 1 animal you don’t eat I’ll eat 3
I read a notice “Drink Canada Dry”, I have started.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird! (Star Trek humor is the best!)
"I is a college student."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a Schizophrenic and so am I.
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