48, white male... Whooopie

mwm4mwfover35: 48, white male, louisville ky...looking for a "stress buster" this morning (i.e., phone play) with a NON-psycho female. POSSIBLY interested?
Artemis: ?
mwm4mwfover35: hello
Artemis: What kind of add is this?
mwm4mwfover35: it's not an add
mwm4mwfover35: i work from home
mwm4mwfover35: just taking a break
Artemis: then what are you selling
mwm4mwfover35: nothing
mwm4mwfover35: phone play is just a stress buster
mwm4mwfover35: by the way, i like home star runner too
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: what is phone play?
mwm4mwfover35: oh come on, darlin.(My skin is starting to crawl)
Artemis: pardon...
Artemis: you mean phone sex?
mwm4mwfover35: duh
Artemis: at work?
mwm4mwfover35:
mwm4mwfover35: i work from home
Artemis: You can not be serious
Artemis: well I dont
mwm4mwfover35: well....yes
Artemis: That is bizarre
mwm4mwfover35: actually, it's very common these days....
mwm4mwfover35: ...and has been for about 10 years.
mwm4mwfover35: married women are the best....and safest.
Artemis: ?
mwm4mwfover35: <~~knows these things
Artemis: hows that
mwm4mwfover35: i guess they don't want hassles.....
mwm4mwfover35: psycho women take phone sex WAY too seriously
Artemis: oh
Artemis: is that really possible?
mwm4mwfover35: is what possible?
Artemis: take phone sex WAY too seriously
mwm4mwfover35: yes...a few do. they act like a "relationship" has begun.....
Artemis: I can hardy type it with a straight face
mwm4mwfover35: lol
mwm4mwfover35: well, those are the ones i call psycho.
Artemis: Not laughing at it, but just confused by it
mwm4mwfover35: hmmm, you're not using CAPS but you are using caps on the word "I".....how interesting.
mwm4mwfover35: confused
mwm4mwfover35: well
mwm4mwfover35: phone sex is common
mwm4mwfover35: it takes me less than 15 minutes to find a partner.
Artemis: I must be really different then
mwm4mwfover35: i go to the yahoo members directory and copy/paste my intro.....
Artemis: Cause I have never participated in it.
mwm4mwfover35: well, if you do....just chat with them first for a while until you SENSE that they aren't psychos......
Artemis: No, I’ll pass
mwm4mwfover35: lol
mwm4mwfover35: you can go into just about any adult chat room right now and watch men jack off on cam.
mwm4mwfover35: men have a harder time finding women to do that, but it's not uncommon either.
Artemis: Besides I am not single and that would seem an unfaithful act.
mwm4mwfover35: ahhhh
mwm4mwfover35: it's just masturbation
mwm4mwfover35: ...that's all.
Artemis: That’s in my profile
mwm4mwfover35: i know
Artemis: OK, Bill Clinton
mwm4mwfover35: that made you more desireable
mwm4mwfover35: president billy was a sex addict, that's all.
mwm4mwfover35: he at least balanced the budget darlin.
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: And this is not a prime representation of the very same thing?
mwm4mwfover35: that's a huge leap, actually. i'm not addicted.
mwm4mwfover35: i do it maybe once a month....as a break...a diversion.
mwm4mwfover35: if i was an addict, would i be spending time chatting with you now? i mean, you've already said NO.
mwm4mwfover35: :)
Artemis: You see, if my Boo masturbated to some chick on the phone or otherwise, I would be infuriated, therefore I would never to such a thing to him. Do unto other’s kind of mentality.
mwm4mwfover35: AHHH
mwm4mwfover35: well, that's your rule for yourself...so i can't argue with that.
mwm4mwfover35: do you give your hubby head?
Artemis: But, good luck with that and all
Artemis: Bu-bye
mwm4mwfover35: i guarantee you your hubby masturbates when you don't know....ok...bye.

OK? OK! OK, OK, OK, OK

lonby009: hello
lonby009: how are u?

BUZZ!!!

Artemis: ?
lonby009: hello
lonby009: how are u?
Artemis: I am glad I had my sound down
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i am richard
lonby009: and u?
Artemis: just lil ol' me
lonby009: were do you stay in us?
Artemis: nc, are you not in the US?
lonby009: i am
lonby009: ok
lonby009: are you single?
Artemis: where are you from then? what country?
lonby009: i am from us
lonby009: wa
lonby009: ok
Artemis: it’s ok with me
lonby009: how old are u?
Artemis: are you new this chat site?
lonby009: yep
lonby009: and u?
Artemis: no, been on for a while
lonby009: wow
lonby009: that is nice
Artemis: you know that profile they ask you to fill out?
lonby009: are you single?
lonby009: don,t worry
lonby009: i will do that ok
Artemis: worry about what?
lonby009: i will like to know you better
lonby009: ok
Artemis: now how is that possible, you are in WA?
lonby009: i can come down to your
lonby009: place that is if will get to know each other
lonby009: better
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you don’t know me
lonby009: that is what i am saying
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i will like to know
lonby009: you better
Artemis: well I filled out my profile
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you might want to read it, instead of just looking at pictures
lonby009: ok
Artemis: you might want to fill yours out some; no one likes an empty man
lonby009: that is what a i am doing
lonby009: now
lonby009: ok
Artemis: why do you say "OK" so much?
Artemis: ok
lonby009: i can see your pics
lonby009: now
lonby009: ok
lonby009: are you single?
Artemis: ok what? Why do you keep saying ok, did you read my profile yet?
Artemis: Are you a "reader"
lonby009: yep
lonby009: i have just done that
lonby009: ok
Artemis: then what does my profile say?
lonby009: you are single
lonby009: and you do like to make friend
lonby009: ok
Artemis: what are you reading? Where did you get that from?
Artemis: and stop with the dang "OK's"
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
Artemis: ok
lonby009: yep
Artemis: yep what?
lonby009: i will like to know
lonby009: if i can take you ask my best friend>
Artemis:? What did you just say?
lonby009: make you my best lover girl
lonby009: ok

BUZZ!!!

Artemis: no
lonby009: why?
Artemis: Because I have a fiancé and if I were single I would be not desperate enough to travel out side of my area.
lonby009: ok
lonby009: i can afford
lonby009: to come over babe
lonby009: ok
Artemis: babe?
lonby009: yep?
Artemis: who the hell do you think you are calling me babe?
Artemis: Are you sure you were born in the US, you don’t chat like you were born in the US, or are you THAT grammatically challenged?
lonby009: ok
lonby009: bye
lonby009: leave me alone
lonby009: ok
Artemis: bu-bye
lonby009: bye

thickone4u30

thickone4u30: Good afternoon. M/32 NC Web Cam. How are you today?
Artemis: ok I guess
thickone4u30: where in nc? age?
Artemis: Raleigh
thickone4u30: cool wiston salem here
thickone4u30: age?
thickone4u30: what do u do for work?
Artemis: 36 logistics
thickone4u30: cool
thickone4u30: married kids?
Artemis: do you ever read
thickone4u30: new at messenger
thickone4u30: it is fun
thickone4u30: married? kids?
Artemis: ahh, click under *ACTIONS* then go to *CONTACT OPTIONS* then *VIEW PROFILE*
Artemis: it’s all there
Artemis: the good the bad and the ugly
thickone4u30: pretty
thickone4u30: web cam?
Artemis: no
thickone4u30: more pics?
Artemis: there are plenty of pictures; there is a link on the bottom half of my profile
thickone4u30: open minded female?
Artemis: I am
thickone4u30: cool
thickone4u30: offline meeitings?
Artemis: I am open minded about the death penalty and abortion and child rearing
Artemis: did you read my profile?
Artemis: did you?
Artemis: I would never meet some one i did not know
Artemis: that’s retarded
thickone4u30: ok
thickone4u30: web cam?
Artemis: no i dont have a web cam
thickone4u30: where tattoo located?
Artemis: my back
thickone4u30: cute
thickone4u30: thongs or prefer none on?
Artemis: what prompted you to think that was an appropriate question?
thickone4u30: u are open minded
Artemis: I am open minded about the death penalty and abortion and child rearing
thickone4u30: thongs?
Artemis: You asked if I were open minded, you did not say about what in particular…
thickone4u30: about sexual conversations
Artemis: then no, I am in a relationship, like my profiles stated, I get nothing from "chatting" sex talk with strangers
thickone4u30: thongs?
Artemis: How pathetic are you really?
thickone4u30: shaved pussy?
Artemis: are you fat, ugly or both?
thickone4u30: nope
Artemis: I would guess both, I mean why else beg a total stranger for sex?

You have been invited to view thickone4u30's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

thickone4u30: web cam?

You have been invited to view thickone4u30's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: Wow, let me guess, you lifted your belly fat to show me your itty bitty tiny penis, this is by all means pioneering, I mean no one else has ever offered to let lil ‘ol me take a look see at their penis, yes, indeed you are a pioneer, a true free thinker. Wow golly gee whiz, did I mention wow?

You have been invited to view thickone4u30's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: and I said no already

I hate spam

troykapin: said CHRIS TUCKER got shot and killed thats why you opened it, but if it said JESUS...would you have still opened it? SAY THIS SLOWLY: Jesus-----I--REALIZE---I--AM---A----SINNER---I REPENT --FOR---MY----SINS----FORGIVE---ME---I--Love----You-----and----I----Need-----You---------- Repost this within 5minutes and make the title R.I.P. CHRIS TUCKER and a miracle will happen tonite. P.S. TRUST ME Y0U D0N'T WANNA iGN0RE THiS

Artemis: I hate spam and have reported you

You have been invited, again

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: who are you?

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: you have tried this before and I said no, still stupid?

You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: you can’t read either can you?


You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Artemis: I am not desperate, sorry
dave52752: u got a cam
Artemis: why
dave52752: let me seeu
Artemis: why
dave52752: why not
Artemis: I don’t like idiots looking at me
Artemis: I don’t let idiots look at me
Artemis: that’s why not
Artemis: geez


You have been invited to view dave52752's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Advertisements. I am not buying this product.

thefriend28218: What im looking for in a woman is honesty/ sweetness/ kindness /loving/ caring/ fun/compassionate/ someone that is supportive/trustworthy loyal/someone that is willing and wanting to spend quality time.
Artemis: had you read my profile you would know not to ask
thefriend28218: how sweet
thefriend28218: waht do you need to know sweetie
Artemis: read MY profile.... there is nothing left to question
thefriend28218: u r cute
thefriend28218: we can talk about that
thefriend28218: how sweet u r
thefriend28218: how nice looking u r

So he is looking for a good honest cheating woman? I don’t get it…

Funny ha ha not funny queer

A short list of funny things I have read lately:


All I wanted to do was puke and poop, all I could do was spit and fart.

Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Allow me to introduce my selves

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?

Humpty Dumpty was pushed

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

For every 1 animal you don’t eat I’ll eat 3

I read a notice “Drink Canada Dry”, I have started.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird! (Star Trek humor is the best!)

"I is a college student."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a Schizophrenic and so am I.

Slack but friendly!

I know I have been slack, but I have had many things on my plate and have unfortunately blown off many Assbag opportunities. I submit the following for you amusement, not Assbaggery but true friendship.

Artemis: I didn't do a homeless guy last night, did I?
Friend: not that I was aware of, why?
Artemis: my face hurts really bad and there is grass all over the kitchen floor...............?
Friend: well, the face is explained because you laid your weight on it on the kitchen counter. The grass I assume we tracked in
Friend: only thing I put on the floor was a piece of ice that Foster played with
Friend: the goat may have brought in the grass come to think of it
Artemis: lol
Artemis : my face hurts REAL bad
Artemis: I left work at 1pm today to come home and sleep this mess off
Friend: yeah, well, next time listen to me when I try to get you to bed or at least a couch:-)
Artemis: I don't remember leaving Bob's
Friend: you were like "I need to go now'.... yelled at me when I said we were going to my place rather than garner
Friend: you calmed down when I said I would get the stuff I needed to go to garner
Artemis: oh god....
Friend: apparently you puked in your hair and in your passenger window while I was upstairs, leading me to get cleaning stuff and saying "poor Artemis"
Artemis: I apologize.
Artemis: LOL
Friend: No need to apologize. You were the one with puke in your hair :-)
Artemis: and my shirt
Friend: and in your door via window gap
Artemis: found that at work this morning
Artemis: yeah the window had nice streak on it
Friend: and the inside didn't seem to clean too easily, going to take some elbow grease :-)
Friend: and the goat, who knows where that poor fellow is now
Artemis: yeah right, who knows
Artemis:?

SPAM is Assbaggery too!

andy_89g: hey there I was checking out yahoo members, i saw your page.. anyway, yahoo says that you're my top match.
andy_89g: do you wanna see my pics and profile ?
Artemis: I am your top match?
Artemis: get out!
andy_89g: here, check it out:www.i_am_a_big_assbag.com (I made that up)

andy_89g: you just gotta sign in (its free) to see me, search for "BullDog".
Artemis: then how could I be your top match if I am not signed up?
Artemis: how did it find me?
Artemis: if I am not in there?
Artemis: I hate spam